Bác Phương is a newbie to BPSOS offices. He joined the Senior Information Help Line Volunteer team a month ago and comes in once a week to staff telephone lines to assist seniors and their family members on social services provided by Fairfax County."I don't know much just yet, but I want to do what I can to help the community," said Bác Phương.Volunteering for our help line was not only Bác Phương's way to give back, but it was also his way of keeping busy. See, he had been retired for while and, as I learned through our conversation, was still coping with the recent death of his wife earlier this year.
fondest (and most comical) memory of Bác Phương...
My coworkers and I were eating lunch and out of nowhere, heard a big ::thump::. We looked over and long and behold, poor Bác Phương had walked straight into a glass window he had mistakened for an entryway! There was no harm done, he simply chuckled and claimed that the glass window was just a bit too clean.
and so it begins...
One morning, he popped into my office, mug of hot green tea in hand, and started chatting. I had the idea to start collecting stories and did not plan on interviewing seniors until the next week. It was all so serendipitous...and he turned out to be the first of a series of interviews for this story project.
the interview...
My name is Nguyễn Vân Phương. I was born in Tân An, miền Nam (southern) Vietnam. I came to America in March of 1973 before the fall of Saigon. I ventured to the states with just my family--my wife and four children. I lost everything...and came to America to rebuild my life. I was a stateless refugee traveling from Northern to Southern Vietnam, "di cư", and it was very difficult to find a job in America without citizenship. I was unemployed for quite some time. American companies were masters at carefully rejecting me...every time I tried to show them the degrees I earned in Vietnam and Europe they said it did not meet American requirements. As a result, they didn't allow me to take on senior level positions such as management.
My academic background was in economics--when I tried to search for jobs as a bank teller they said, "I'm sorry, I can't let you take this job because this would be degrading for you. But I can't let you take on management positions either because you don't have the experience to lead in the American system." I had taken some courses on public administration and leadership, but couldn't obtain a bachelor's degree here in the U.S. because it wasn't allowed due to my citizenship status.
"They were kind to me."
I kept searching and searching, and finally stumbled upon a life insurance company that gave me a chance. Up to this point in my professional experience, I had always been on the administrative end of things, and I had never been in sales before. They had a probationary period of 3 months to see if I could make a sale, and if I couldn't sell, then I'd get fired. They knew I didn't have experience so they gave me a starting salary of around $600-700 a month in addition to making commission off of sales. So I did my best to learn about the insurance industry while getting out there and selling policies. They showed me the ropes and gave me a database of potential clients to network and reach out to. I had to call these contacts, set up appointments, come to them, and make a presentation of the products. My job was also to answer any questions they had about our policies for sale, and ask about their health, well-being, and family. This was our company's way to make our visitations personal, and show that we cared about the client and the future of their children and grandchildren--it made for a good selling tactic, but it was very difficult for me to be in a sales position nonetheless. With every client, I was soft-spoken, never lied, and didn't try to pressure anyone into buying anything.
At the time, I faced a lot of racial discrimination as a Vietnamese in the life insurance industry. There were not a lot of Vietnamese in this line of work, and the majority consisted of Whites. But my managers at the company were kind to me, knew that there were obstacles that I had to endure due to racism, and made the effort to enter their social circles and networking meetings to enhance my professional growth. The company taught me to use pressure to make a sale, but I refused and told them that I was unwilling to pressure potential clients. However, my company told me to use a very threatening tactic:
"Tell them that if they don't make the investment to protect themselves now, how are their children and wife going to survive?! They'll end up on the streets!"
They wanted me to put some fire underneath them, but I refused to threaten them by those means to make a sale. My managers and clients understood my style, and I ended up staying at the company for 13 years. They started me out with selling life insurance policies and later on I started selling different types of policies such as health insurance and stock bonds. I earned the different licenses and although I didn't sell that much, the company was kind enough to me to allow me to stay and I received many awards for my work. So when I made the decision to leave, they were very sad.
for the sake of cộng đồng...
I later found a job with the U.S. Catholic Charities called ROME--they cared for orphans and Amerasians (Vietnamese children of American GI soldiers). Many people there were social workers and a man named Dennis Hunt ran an office of a few dozen staff members in Falls Church, VA. When I came to work for them, they were skeptical of me because I came from a insurance sales background--they warned me that the pay was not going to be comparable to my previous job and wanted to make sure I wasn't going to take the job and quickly quit. I reassured them that I wanted the job because I wanted to help the "cộng đồng" (community). They even tried to put me on the job only as part-time just to make sure I was compatible, but I refused because I wasn't going to mess around with a part-time here, and a part-time elsewhere--I wanted a solid full-time job. So they let me take on a full-time job and gave me a caseload of 16-17 orphans to provide assistance to, and I was quite successful. They had a high school graduation rate of 80-90% and many went onto college thereafter.
my message to the youth...
In life, you have to set goals, adjust to your surroundings, and continue moving forward. If you don't have perseverance,...say if you lost your homeland country, everything is stripped away from you, there's no giving up. My wife supported me through thick and thin, and I love her dearly. She helped me in the toughest times. While I was searching for a job and unemployed, she held a stable job as a secretary, and then as an executive assistant at the National Academy of Sciences in Washington, DC. She was working and raising four children, 2 girls, 2 boys. All of them were successful and obtained Master's degrees and above. I have a total of 4 grandchildren--3 "cháu ngoại" (maternal grandchildren), and 1 cháu nội (paternal grandchildren). My sons and daughters are now in their fifties.
My life is about raising my children and cultivating their values so that in the end, they learn how to love their families and to love others. I always tell them that whatever money you make and earn in this world, to remember to think about those in need and give back to the community, whether that be the American or Vietnamese community.
If you continue having goals in life to obtain material goods....you earn one million, you'll want another million...and life becomes meaningless.
Ngọc Lan (a.k.a. Christina) interviews her bà nội based in Fairfax, VA. Bà takes us on her journey from Hà Nội and Saigon, Vietnam, to her exodus in India, and details the family history to settling in Northern Virginia where her family resides today.
